As a Christian, your relationship should always be Christ-centred. This essentially means that you should put God before your partner. Courting is not about pleasing your partner but it’s about pleasing God in unity. The end goal is to marry someone who has the same purpose in life.
Many times you see people placing their partners above God. Their partner then becomes a distraction, and they find themselves loving their partner more than God. People tend to forget that it is God who placed that person in their lives, and instead them in the position God should be in. Do you understand where I’m going? I will give some practical examples for those who don’t understand what I’m talking about.
Instead of spending time with God in prayer or by listening to sermons, you might decide to stay on the phone a little bit longer and thereby shorten your prayer time. Instead of going to the house of God, you decide to go on fancy dates. Instead of studying the word of God you decide to relax and spend quality time with the one you love. And because you love your partner so much, sometimes you compromise and forget that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), so you choose to physically please your partner. At some point, you will realize what you have done and you will undeniably regret certain choices.
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that going on fancy dates or spending quality time with your partner is wrong. No. It only becomes wrong when you value the time you spend with your partner more than the time you spend with God. Or when you try to keep your husband to be happy by doing things that God forbids. When spending time with God becomes less and less important, you are getting yourself into trouble..
Courtship is the time in which you have to get to know the person you are considering marrying. As the late Myles Monroe said in one of his sermons: ask questions while you’re courting. He stressed the importance of making sure you know who you are going to marry. You should really do your research because, as a Christians, once you get married there is no way out. Make sure you know what you are doing when you say ‘I do’. God expects you to really mean it when you say ‘till death do us apart’.
Courting is not the time to investigate the body of your partner, it is the time in which you investigate his character. There is no such thing as asking silly questions. You should know the depths of your partner’s relationship with God. You should know what makes him easily irritated. You should know what he has been through. You should know his strengths and weaknesses. Only then will be able to submit to and complement him when the two of you get married.
God places everyone in your life for a reason. So if the one you are courting is the one God has sent for you to marry, make sure you make things work according to God’s will. Courting is a good thing but don’t understate its importance: it’s the time during which you decide who you’ll spend your forever with. Choose wisely.