Can you be courting whilst you are prideful? It is possible. But will it last? Only God knows. Many people do not know how to evaluate themselves when it comes to seeing who they really are.
What are you capable of doing?
What are your strengths?
What are your weaknesses?
What makes you angry?
Do you have a temper?
How do you control yourself?
What do you bring to the table? Or does your spouse only have to bring something to the table as you are already fearfully and wonderfully made?
The Bible makes us know our worth in 1 Peter 2:9 NIV, for it says: “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of HIM who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” This is what God has called us to be. He has ranked us so high, that we don’t need to praise ourselves. God wants us to be humble so He can lift us up (James 4:10).
But how do we humble ourselves when we are courting? Isn’t it too late?
Before you court, it is good to know who you are. You should be able to answer the above mentioned questions honestly. What also helps is to ask your courting partner whether he sees these characteristics in you. For God wants us to approach and instruct one another in a gentle way, in the hope that God will grant us repentance which leads us to a knowledge of the truth (2 Timothy 2:25).
The Story of Abigail
If we look at the story of Abigail and Nabal in 1 Samuel 25, the Bible describes Abigail as an intelligent and beautiful woman whereas her husband is described as surly and mean in his dealings. However, this did not make Abigail divorce from her husband. When her husband spoke disrespectfully to King David, King David wanted to kill him and all his household. But Abigail knew the power in being humble. She didn’t join her husband in insulting the king, but she went before the kings feet and pleaded for her husband in the name of God. In turn, King David was pleased with this and gave God the glory.
If Abigail did not know God or know her worth as a woman/wife, she wouldn’t have known how to handle this matter. Therefore, even if your courtship partner has these characteristics of pride, and God has shown to you that He is your partner, go to God in prayer. For if there is pride in the wicked man, he does not seek God, and if there is pride in you, there is no room for God (Psalm 10:4). Therefore help one another in your relationship. Pray for one another so that pride will not take over, but only the love of God. Pray that God will be the foundation of your courtship and that it will lead into a marriage that pleases God, as marriage is ordained by God.
Finally, I want to leave you with this Bible verse: ‘Let someone ELSE praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider and not your own lips ‘(Proverbs 27:2, NIV). Remember that if we humble ourselves, God will lift us up in our courtship and future marriage, and He will have the lead in it.