Whenever I wear white clothes, I am committed to keeping them clean. No matter what. As we all know, out of all the colours, stains are most visible on white. This is why I am extra cautious when I decide to wear an all-white outfit. The commitment I have to keeping my white clothes clean, is the same commitment God expects us to have when it comes to purity: to be extra cautious not to stain ourselves.
Purity is an old-fashioned term that is coming back into fashion now that more young ladies have decided to do relationships God’s way. Purity can be described as cleanliness, spotlessness, and so on. As Christians, our aim is to be pure in all areas of our lives. This includes our courtship. I like to see purity as a pure white robe God has gifted us with. A gift from God needs to be handled with care. So, we are called to do everything in our might to keep this robe of purity we’re wearing undefiled. During a courtship, it will probably be harder for us to keep the robe untouched and clean, because of all the temptation that is out there. For us to make sure we don’t fall into temptation, we need to dedicate ourselves to purity and keep that robe clean.
How can we keep that robe clean during courtship? We keep our robe and ourselves clean by staying away from sexual immorality (easier said than done, as usual). But what can help us, is to be reminded of the fact that God gave us this robe to cover us for a reason: protection. Staying pure protects us from all the hurt and confusion that immorality could cause. Our dedication to purity becomes easier when we deliberately sit down and make promises to God, ourselves, and our partners. The following tips could help you stay dedicated:
Ask God for help (commitment to God)
Purity is something God wishes for us (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 NIV). Therefore, He will surely lend a helping hand when you think you cannot do it anymore. Ask God to show you how to keep His gift, your robe, clean. Ask Him to show you ways to stay committed to purity. Proverbs 16:3 NIV tells us that when we commit our actions into His hands, we will indeed succeed in them. When times get hard, ask the Holy Spirit to lead and convict you, so you can stay dedicated
Be accountable (commitment to self)
We try to do many things by ourselves, when we have many people around us who could help. The promise to not fall into sexual sin before marriage is one that can easily be broken. However, this becomes harder when we share with others what we are doing. Tell a good friend about your commitment to remain pure and ask that friend to keep checking up on you. This way, you will feel more obligated to stick to the purity promise you made. Let’s share our burdens (Galatians 6:2 NIV) and confess our (almost) sins to one another (James 5:16 NIV), so we can help each other stay committed.
Set boundaries with your partner (commitment to partner)
Obviously, you’re not the only one in the courtship. For this reason, it is necessary to talk to your partner about your dedication to purity. Tell him about your precious robe of purity that you would like to keep clean and let him know the great worth of it. Set boundaries (clear rules) in your courtship, so both of you will know what could stain your white robe and how you should abstain from that.
All of this seems like it will take a lot to be in a courtship and stick to your purity commitment. That’s absolutely right. It will take a lot of strength, prayer, self-control and discipline to remain dedicated to purity, but it will all be worth it. “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” (Galatians 6:9, NLT). After courtship, when you get to marry your partner, you are allowed to finally take off that robe on your wedding night *wink, wink*. God intended it this way.
Co-founder of The Purpose Wife