The Value of Discipline in a Courtship

A life of a Christian is a disciplined one. The day you decide in your heart to live for Jesus Christ, the day you decide to reject your flesh and take up your cross, everything changes. The way you act, think, speak and reason will change. There are certain movies you will not watch anymore, certain places you won’t go to anymore, certain types of clothes you will not wear anymore and the list can go on. And why will you make all these changes? Because you have made a promise to God not to be comfortable in sin, and to neglect everything that pushes you away from Him. This is the essence of submission, and it takes discipline to fully submit unto God.

Have the right people around you
Sometimes the journey of a believer can feel lonely, because in order to get to your destiny, you will have to leave certain people behind. The people that will distract you from fulfilling your God given purpose will have to stay in your old life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you should hate them. In fact, you should rather love and pray for them, but you do have to keep a healthy distance. You need to realise that some things that seem fun to do, may not be beneficial to you as a Christian. That is why the Bible says: all things are permitted, but not all things are beneficial (1 Corinthians 10:23). Honestly speaking, this is easier said than done, but if you are determined and keep your eyes fixed on the Lord it is certainly possible.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

James 4:7-8

Now when you meet a person and you two decide to be in a courtship, discipline plays a major role. Setting boundaries is a must when you are courting. There are certain things you have to promise yourselves not to do, however fun they may seem. Always keep in mind that what you do during your courtship will shape your future. Furthermore, when you truly respect your relationship, there are certain people you should not be in contact with and certain places you should not visit. Sometimes we tend to underestimate some situations and make ourselves believe that there is no danger in them. But when we find out that this is a lie, it might already be too late. For you to avoid drama and heartache, it would be wise to be very picky about which people you allow into your life. When you are disciplined, it means that you have self-control, which also happens to be one of the the fruits of Spirit.

Self-control protects you
When you lack self-control, you are vulnerable (Proverbs 25:28). The enemy can easily overcome you if you lack this attribute. Learn how to say no to people. Learn to walk away from sin. Don’t ruin your own relationships by making reckless decisions. Let’s say there’s this woman who wants to lose weight. In order to effectively do so, she has to be disciplined. There might be certain foods she won’t eat anymore and she will have to opt for a glass of water instead of a soda. Also, it’s highly likely she will be going to the gym multiple times a week. She will do all of this because she has a goal. This also applies for you and I; we have a goal. That goal is to do God’s will and please God with everything that we do. To make this possible, I will say it again: we need discipline

Like a city whose walls are broken through

    is a person who lacks self-control.

Proverbs 25:28

You see the enemy came to steal, kill and destroy. So every time he gets the chance to destroy that good relationship of yours, he will definitely do it. One way to walk wisely during a courtship is to oppose absolutely everything Satan might want for you. The reason why people fall into fornication is simply because they lacked discipline. They decided to engage themselves in the wrong conversations which led them to the wrong place at the wrong time. Don’t throw away the time you have invested in your relationship because of lack of discipline!

As a child of God, He wants you to live a certain lifestyle; one that differentiates you from the world. Courting is not easy, but certainly worth it if you manage to be disciplined and let God take the lead. After reading this article, I want you to ask yourself this question: how disciplined am I?

God bless,
Justine Asante

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