In this day and age we hear a lot about equality, that the man and woman are equal and that a relationship is 50/50. We want men to put as much effort into the relationship as women, but I wonder if in reality it works like that. Society makes us believe this should be the case, and even though it’s wonderful to hear all those things, I wonder if it according to the Word of God..
I am saying this because we are surrounded by strong, independent, I-don’t-need-a-man women, but is that an attitude can be taken into marriage? I don’t think so: I this attitude is destructive to a marriage. I strongly believe that you have to allow the man to be the head of the family. Even when he does not have a job or times are tough, that does not make him any less of a man. Christ made the man the head for a reason and we need to adhere to that. The bible states this in Proverbs 21:9 that it is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house (KJV). Wow. Can you image being that woman? That your own husband would rather be outside than in a house with you because your attitude is extremely toxic? There is just one word for this: pride.
Let’s be honest, women are good in maintaining arguments and we love to be right. I think we can confirm also that we can hold something in us for a very long time and when the opportunity arises, we will use it against someone. But in all this, the Word of God states in Proverbs 14:1 that every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands (KJV). This means that the wise woman/wife should be able to maintain her household. She should know when to speak up and when to be silent. That is why the word tells us the following in James 1:19-20 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God” (KJV).
I remember meeting a woman years ago in the U.K. To me, she came across as annoying and tough. The next day I met her at church and she started to talk to a room filled with ladies. She began to talk about marriage, and told us that she had been married for over 15 years. You can imagine the look on my face. I wondered by myself, how come she is married for such a long time, yet the attitude she displayed was nothing to write home about? Then she said this, and I want every woman to read this very well, she said: “I might be tough and all that, but my husband is the head and I respect him as the head.” She explained that in her house, her husband rules (not in a negative way). This was the turnaround in my life and my view on marriage. We need to use wisdom, ladies.
With this I am trying to make all of us understand that there can never be two captains on the boat, as the saying goes. Which means that there can never be two people who are the head of the household. From personal experience I have seen how the attitude of a woman can make things worse. Attitudes can destroy, and the attitude of pride is #1. I will leave this with you my fellow ladies: in all things, we need to look at ourselves. Am I building or destroying my house? For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body (Ephesians 5:23). Let your husband lead, protect and love you like Christ love the church.