Singlehood refers to the state of being unmarried; this could be an individual who is dating, getting to know someone during courtship or being completely single. As there is no age set for or age limit for getting married, one can be in the singlehood state for a while and become familiar with the state of being single. Being or getting familiar within the singlehood stage, can make a person stagnant and limit the ability of exploring. This because you might be fixated on getting into a relationship to the point of forgetting to live in the moment and utilising the time you have. When you are single, you have no responsibilities of caring, loving or showing affection to someone else. You basically have more time for yourself. I believe the singlehood stage for a person who wishes to get married is supposed to be a transitional season and not a permanent stage. Due to this, the singlehood stage needs to be lived to the fullest whilst preparing for marriage.
The Difference Between Singlehood and Marriage
Avoiding a mediocre lifestyle while being single is very essential, because you want to build yourself up to the fullest capacity. This can be done through various ways such as obtaining a degree, travelling, learning new skills, spending quality time, making good memories, saving money, getting active and socialise. Do everything to your full potential and most importantly devote yourself fully to God! I’m not saying you can’t do all these things when you’re married, but the word of God does tell us in 1 Corinthians 7:34 that “an unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.” The Lord cares so much about you that He wants a relationship with you before you get married. He wants you close to Him, because He created you and wants the best for you.
There can be various interpretation about this bible verse but the revelation I received from God on this verse is that as a single or unmarried person, you need to have a solid relationship with God by devoting your body to Him. This refers to the physical aspect, meaning your outward appearance. The word of God is very clear about how holy our bodies should be. It is written that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, that is why fornication is a sin, because your body belongs to God alone when you are not married. However, when you are married it belongs to God and your husband as it says in 1 Corinthians 7:4 that “the wife does not have authority over her own body , but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.’
“But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.”
– 1 Corinthians 7:34 NIV
Devote Everything to God
Furthermore, the Bible tell us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. So if we are devoting our bodies to God, we need to take care of ourselves by examining what we take into our bodies, what we eat and drink, what we wear and our health as well. God wants you to devote your body to Him and by so doing you will appreciate the body He has given you. Being able to take care of yourself whilst you’re single gives you confidence and self-love that will prepare you for marriage.
In as much as our physical appearance matters, what matters most to God is our spirit being. God is Spirit, and His worshipers must worship Him in spirit and truth (John 4:24). Devoting to God in the spirit means we have accepted Him in to our lives and are solely reliant on Him. The Holy Spirit teaches, comforts, counsels, gives wisdom, knowledge and understanding. When we we are saved, we are filled and sealed through the spirit of God. Visualise yourself devoting to the Holy Spirit and Him providing and working through you as a single person. By the time you are ready to marry, the spirit of God will already be your best friend. Even though your attention might be divided due to the fact that you have a spouse, your solid foundation you have formed with God will not be shaken. This is because the spirit of the Lord will never leave you as long as you keep seeking Him. What honour will it also be when you sought Him (God) first before the man of your dreams (all other things). Then when you entering into a marriage, He will already be at the centre of the relationship.
“The Holy Spirit teaches, comforts, counsels, gives wisdom, knowledge, understanding and we are saved, filled and sealed through the spirit of God.”
Pray Consistently
About three years ago I used to get sick almost every month with the same illness. I prayed and fasted about it but it wouldn’t stop. I was in the car with my uncle who has been married over 10 years with two children and he said, ‘Jennifer at this age and being single as well, you can’t let sickness take over your life. You have to pray and fast even more, because when you start a family things will be hard. You might want to fast, but your husband might not want to. In addition, you will have to take care of your kids and you will have many other responsibilities as a wife and mother.‘ When my uncle told me this, I totally understood what he was trying to say. And he continued saying: “I’m not saying you can’t fast and pray when you are married, but sometimes you might be limited to do it due to your busy schedule as a married woman.”
Another thing, I also came to find out is that you can store up prayers for the future. In Acts 10 a man called Cornelius prayed regularly, and in verse 4 it says; “Cornelius stared at him (an angel) in fear. “What is it, LORD?” Cornelius asked. The angel answered, “Your prayers and gifts to the poor have come up as a memorial offering before God.” This man did good and prayed consistently, and one day God remembered him.
So to all my single purposefully ladies, please I would like to admonish you to seek God in all aspects of your life now whilst waiting on Mr. right. Pray consistently! Pray in advance for your future husband, children, career, family etc and thank God in advance. And in this season of your life don’t forget to chill, have fun, learn to cook, have that extra oil and to prepare yourself, because in His time He makes all things beautiful.
God bless you,
Jennifer Adjei
Guest writer
The Purpose Wife 