Imagine yourself in a relationship with perfect communication, but no trust due to past disappointments. As a result of all the let-downs, you will not seriously build on what your partner tells you anymore, so every promise spoken word will face your scepticism right? On the other hand, imagine yourself in a relationship with complete trust, but no proper communication. Inevitably misunderstandings will pop up between the two of you. To me, it seems like communication in relationships is overrated, whereas trust is underestimated. Think about it: how often have you heard someone say communication is key? I’ve heard that a billion times. I do believe communication is key, but I also believe that trust is the lock to that key.
Any courtship that has one without the other is incomplete. When communication and trust meet, something magical happens: they unlock the gate to a beautiful and everlasting relationship. Trust is fully relying on the integrity and character of someone who is being true to you. Being able to trust your partner in courtship is essential for your future, because trust creates safety and security. It also deepens your emotional intimacy with one another when you know that you can build on each other. For example, you can build on each other for support, love, service, and encouragement.
Building this trustworthiness during courtship is a must! It pays off in marriage when we as Purpose Wives are able to trust the leadership of our men so much that we submit ourselves to it (Ephesians 5:24). This means Purpose Husbands have to be trustworthy in order to receive trust! Being trustworthy is something we control ourselves, because it depends on our actions. Unlike love, which is freely given from the heart, trust is not freely given, it must be earned. And trust is earned by consistency, honesty and integrity.
When you observe consistency in honest words and actions from your partner, you naturally let your guard down. As a result, you will experience the transparency and dependability of your special person. Dependability here is relative because we fully depend on God above all else. Depending on human beings instead of God has never proven to be a good idea: “What sorrow awaits those who look to Egypt for help, trusting their horses, chariots, and charioteers and depending on the strength of human armies instead of looking to the Lord, the Holy One of Israel.” (Isaiah 31:1, NLT) However, a relationship with a trustworthy partner means that you can depend on his yes being his yes and his no being his no.
Trust goes hand in hand with truth and God is truth, that is why we can only understand trustworthiness when we look at God. “God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change His mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?” (Numbers 23:19, NLT) Focussing on becoming more God-like together during courtship will shape you to become two individuals who can trust one another. Even if the trust is broken along the way, the trust, love and forgiveness you have gradually built, can provide you with the necessary tools to rebuild the trust one brick at a time. Courtship is the time to test that trustworthiness of your partner before you stand on the aisle and share the rest of your life with one another.
During these times, trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take (Proverbs 3:5-6, NLT).