“I hate men! I will never date again, all men are the same!” Don’t we hear this so often? Maybe you’ve even said something like this yourself. A horrible break up might have changed your perspective of men. Now you look at a man and you compare him to your ex, your two faced cousin or even your dad who didn’t treat your mother well.
First of all, don’t compare all men with your EX or any other person because, as unique as you are, God didn’t make a second version of that person either. We are all individually made in His own image! As Genesis 1:27 (NIV) reads: “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created Him; male and female He created them.” The only thing that men have in common with each other is their gender. That means that every man’s inner-beauty is different from that of others. Your ex might have broken your heart in a million pieces, but that doesn’t mean that you should build an impenetrable wall around you. Because if you do, you might make yourself unavailable to the man God has for you.
“Your ex might have broken your heart in a million pieces, but that doesn’t mean that you should build an impenetrable wall around you.”
Let’s go back to Genesis 2 verse 22 and read how God created Eve out of the rib of Adam. This Bible verse supports the point I want to make: the reason you’re not with your ex anymore could be that you are not made out of his rib, which means that God didn’t make you to be that man’s wife. Chances are God made this very clear to you, but you ignored His voice and chose not to listen. The only way out of such a situation is by a (painful) breakup. When you go through a breakup, you begin to remember all the things he did wrong and all the things you have done for him. And there it is, you’ll say: I’m not doing this again, all men are the same.
My sister, you’re wrong! All men are not the same. Just because someone didn’t appreciate you, didn’t love you enough and didn’t respect you, doesn’t mean that the one God created especially for you will do the same! Don’t block your own blessing by generalising all men. Instead of saying “all men are the same”, pray first ask God to heal your broken heart. Ask God to teach you how to forgive. Ask God to teach you how to trust again. Ask God to teach you how to love again. After successfully going through this process, you will see a change in the way you think about men and the way you speak about them.
“Don’t block your own blessing by generalising all men.”
I love Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) because it warns us to be careful about what we say: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” I want you to think about this scripture the next time you claim that all men are the same. Don’t you know that there is power in the tongue? If you compare all men to the one that hurt you, that will be exactly the type of men that you will attract.
Change the narrative that comes from your tongue and change the way you think about men. If you don’t, you will surely block your own blessings. God has someone for you, just be patient and work on yourself in the meantime. Your break up wasn’t there to break you, it was there to teach you!
God bless,
Delicia Ntodi
Guest Writer
The Purpose Wife 