For a courtship to work, you need to understand that you are about to enter into a partnership. In this partnership, the both of you will have differences and similarities to work on. Be aware that some of your characteristics may overpower the other. As an individual, you can like a particular thing that the other may not like, but this doesn’t mean you can’t be together. Courtship is a period where the two of you are getting to know each other, not just for the sake of “being together”, but to discover God’s will and purpose. Whenever you are spending time with your husband or wife to be, you should show God that you are indeed grateful for the opportunity He has given the both of you to be together. As 1 Corinthians 10:31 (NIV) says: ”so whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
When you get into a courtship as a woman, you have to put your differences aside and swallow a great deal of the pride you may have developed. The bible clearly says we are to submit to out husband in Ephesians 5:22. Therefore, there are certain characteristics that you may have developed in your single life that you need to leave behind when you get to the stage of being in a partnership. A lot of people do not get to the stage of marriage after courting because they are not willing to die to themselves and give everything to God. To ensure a healthy marriage, you need to make sure that your commitment is to God and your (future) husband. Your prayer life & devotional life need to be at a point where you can feel that God’s glue is holding your relationship together; that come what may, The Lord will keep you and strengthen you.
The period of your courtship is where you are focused on God and allow Him to direct and steer the relationship. When God directs the man to turn left, help him turn left. Do not misjudge his character based on what he used to do or who he used to be. The moment you court, you are doing it with a biblical understanding. Scriptures let us know that if a man be in Christ, he is a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). Therefore see this man in a different light. You need to see God in your partner and not look at his flaws, for no one is perfect.
A man is the leader in his home. As Christ loves His church, so ought a man to love his wife or the partner he is thinking of marrying. His home, which consists of his wife and (future) children, is his kingdom and his place to rule. A man shouldn’t make his partner feel as if she is insignificant and he can do all by himself. The Lord says that He ”favours he who finds a wife.” So the moment a man finds a partner he believes could potentially be his wife, that is when God’s favour finds him. God doesn’t need people who are not ready to look after his children. You, as a wife to be, are precious to God, so make sure your partner treats you that way. Whenever your partner’s weakness is shown through courtship, make sure you are the blanket in that situation. Cover them fully until there is no nakedness, do not expose your partner due to anger.
”But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father’s naked body. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father naked.” (Genesis 9:23, NIV) You are like two chains coming together and you should see God as your padlock. Therefore, make sure that whatever the enemy is planning won’t be able to cut through or cut in between whatever it is you and your partner have. Sometimes you may go through problems but just stand firm in the Word of God and work towards the future together. You both ought to light the candle and burn it together.
Sexual purity is a very important aspect in a Christian life. The moment a man decides to court you, or when you are on the road to becoming his wife, you should protect and guide each other in whatever way you can. You should both help the other become the better version of him or herself, specifically through abstinence of sex. Don’t think you won’t slip, because you will. In situations where you feel like lust is flowing into your system without barriers, flee from that situation! You really ought to help each other to do so, it’s a two way street. Your man can’t be praying and fasting to keep you holy and pure, and thereby not defiling your future matrimonial bed, when you are here causing him to lust and fall into sin. You have to help him or her keep their promise to God, in whatever way that may be.
You need to be solid in yourself in order to help another person grow. It’s difficult to expect something from another person when you haven’t received it before. Make sure your partner knows how you feel about them and how God is going to use the two of you to magnify marriage.
God bless,
Tracy Agyei
Writer
The Purpose Wife 