3 Key Lessons to Apply to Your Courtship

As a newly wedded wife, I would like to take the opportunity to reflect on the year, focusing on my personal courtship and the lessons that I’ve learned throughout it. I’m also going to share some of the lessons taught to take on within my courtship, but for a change I also want you to take the time to reflect on the lessons you have learned within your courtship and comment them below. Let us share and learn from one another.

Lesson 1: Spend as much time with God as possible.
This seems so evident but believe it or not, after being together for a while this principle can slowly fade away into thin dust. The way in which me and my partner try to spend as much time with God as possible is simply by studying the word together, praying and worshiping God together every week. We tried to not make this a daily routine as we know that, as we were still two separate individuals, it was important to still carry out our own quiet times with God and spend some time with Him alone as well.

Another way to spend as much time with God as possible is simply by talking about God and His Word. There were many times my fiance and I discussed stories in the Bible and shared our opinions of these, our personal testimonies, reflect on our pasts and how far God has brought us, shared favourite verses daily or any words received from God during our quiet times. Making a conscious effort to bring God into your conversations is another way to keep Him at the center of your relationship and keep your minds on Him. It is also way to build on each other’s knowledge of the Word and get to know each other’s personal beliefs.

In Colossians 3, Paul talks about setting our minds on things above consistently, not on earthly things and also letting the message of Christ dwell among us, as we teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns and songs from the spirit. Practicing this within your courtship is a beautiful thing and is definitely key to keeping a pure and God fearing courtship.Lesson 2: Remain vigilant, wise and depend on the Holy Spirit at all times.
Another thing to be aware of within your courtship is not to get too ahead of yourself. This goes especially for the people that have been Christians almost all their lives and can basically recite the Bible from beginning to end. The area which you think you are most disciplined in can be your biggest fall IF you don’t depend on the Holy Spirit at all times. We can sometimes get quite comfortable or proud in our walk with God, placing ourselves in scenarios or situations that are evidently tempting but not fully knowing the danger of it. You’re okay with it because ‘nothing is going to happen’ or ‘I’m too wise to fall in this scenario’.  However, this is the very scenario where God will show you that you are powerless and He is powerful. Proverbs 16:18 states that ‘pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall’ and this very true. I’m sure we’ve all been in that situation where we thought we had it all together but ended up going home feeling like the biggest fool ever, because we failed. Therefore, be vigilant and wise in your courtship and depend on the Holy Spirit at all times. Accept your weaknesses and know that the only way you can keep your courtship pure and holy is by depending on God.

Lesson 3: Loving one another unconditionally
Loving one another unconditionally is key within your courtship. Practicing this within your courtship now will create a good, solid foundation for your future marriage. To love one another unconditionally is a choice and a conscious decision you have to make every day, rather than a natural feeling that you feel from within. The same way Christ made a conscious decision to sacrifice himself, to die for us in order to save us and forgives us daily despite our inequities, is the same we ought to make sacrifices within our courtship for our partners, forgiving them despite our personal wants and their weaknesses. This is for example, still attending to your partner even though you both just had a major argument in which you got really hurt, but still putting that aside, moving on, and serving him, rather than finding a way to hurt them back.

Paul describes in Colossians 3 that we ought to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness humility, gentleness and patience within our relationships, bearing each other and forgiving one another. If any one of us have grudges against each other, forgiving as the Lord has forgiven us and over all these virtues, putting on love which binds us all together in perfect unity.❤

God bless,
Vanessa Boamah
Guest Writer