Have you ever had something that is imperfect, but you just want to go ahead and use it or buy it still? You know the potential of this thing and you know it still works or does what it has to do, so why would you get rid of it? In my case, it’s my car. I worked hard to get that cute little car. Knowing the car wasn’t perfect from the start, I still went ahead and bought it, because I believed it would work nonetheless. Yes, I may have to take my car to the garage a few times, but it’s only to make it better and last longer. I knew from the start it wasn’t going to be perfect, but I was willing to risk it and to make it work. When it comes to relationships and marriages, this same thing happens. We get into a relationship with someone, knowing that this person is not perfect at all, but we go ahead and move along with it. Why? Because we aren’t perfect either and somewhere inside, we hope that we can help each other get closer to perfection.
I once heard someone say that marriage is about two imperfect people coming together. There is even a quote that says, “A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.” This sounds so simple, “refusing to give up on each other.” However, reality shows that it’s not that easy. There are many issues that show up in marriages. Some of the most common ones are adultery, abuse, and addiction. It doesn’t matter which of the two (husband or wife) causes the issue, either way, it will still affect the marriage in tremendous ways. Eventually the issues can lead a marriage to a dark place where one or both of the spouses start to question the marriage. Can this problem be solved? How are we going to survive this? Is it time for a break?
As a married person, repentance, forgiveness and patience are traits you ought to possess. Many things can and will go wrong, and when they do, it is important to recognize what you did wrong in the situation, to know how to forgive one another, and to know how to be patient. If you’re struggling with an issue in your marriage or your husband is not behaving ‘as he should’, then it’s time to get on your knees and pray. “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12, NIV) It can never be stressed enough how important prayer is. After all, that is our way to communicate with the One who can and will restore your marriage. Now keep in mind that prayer is not magic. Even though God could choose to grant you your wishes immediately, more often than not, He chooses to make you wait. This is where patience becomes an important factor.It takes time to see a change in yourself or your spouse, but rest assured that when you pray and believe in God to fix it all, it will surely happen some day; just don’t give up. “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14, NIV) Most of us have probably heard about the movie ‘War Room’ which is about a wife struggling in her marriage because of what both she and her husband were doing. At first she blamed the husband, but later also figured out that she was part of the problem. She decided to restore her marriage by creating a war room in which she would just sit in the presence of the Lord and pray. Her prayers weren’t answered immediately though, it took some time. But eventually her marriage was restored because she prayed, and both she and her husband changed their ways.
Redemption covers the imperfection in your marriage. When you know you’re not doing the right thing and your spouse is pointing this out, make sure you repent and change your ways. When your spouse is doing something that is harmful to the marriage, point it out lovingly, forgive, pray for him, and wait. Trust that the Lord will restore your marriage, for He values marriages. “The Lord will fight for you; you only need to be still.” (Exodus 14:14). And, while you’re at it; keep in mind that love should stay in the marriage, as it also makes redemption easier. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).