Courtship: Dating With a Purpose

Everything I write for this blog is based upon honesty. So here’s me being honest: I don’t like courtship. Better said: I used to not like it. Before I start pouring the tea on that, here a few wise words: ignorance can keep you from your blessing! Proverbs 3:13-15 (NIRV) says: “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom. Blessed is the one who gains understanding. Wisdom pays better then silver does. She earns more than gold does. She is worth more than rubies. Nothing you want can compare with her.”

I always used to feel overwhelmed when finding out about things that I secretly, or stubbornly, wanted to do my own way. But The Holy Spirit is always here doing what He was sent to do. And once you’ve prayed and received Him, He is not going a-ny-where! I had times that I would put Him on mute so that I could do things my way, but he’s always very loud and swift with the “I told you so!”. So I since stopped muting him, I have learned to embrace the overwhelming feeling of His presence. I want to know more and more of what will make me a woman with purpose so I can then become a purpose wife. Pun intended.

In the matter of courtship, it took me a while to embrace the overwhelming feeling, I won’t lie. I can’t pretend that I have never “dated” anyone. Because in all honesty: I like dating. Better said: I used to like it. Here’s the tea: dating is easy. You meet someone. You like them. They like you. Easy. You exchange snapchat usernames. Easy. If and when he passes a few tests and sends you a certain amount of hearteyes-emojis, then he gets to have your number. Easy. You can text back and forth all day or not. You can call each other and talk about everything and nothing for hours on end. Or not. As time progresses, it’s still easy. You can meet up with him from time to time or not. You’re just seeing where things go. You’ll feel butterflies, but it’s all still pretty easy. And the best part is: he can be the only one you talk to.. Or not. Because, girl: it’s all about the ease.

They always say: nothing good comes easy. I’m not saying dating is bad, what I am saying is that courtship is better! Dating can be seen as purposeless, which may or may not turn to purposeful. Courting however starts with God and with a purpose. I hope you’re deleting some numbers right as you read that. There’s just one issue with courtship: it’s such an outdated, stigmatized word. But the essence of it appeals to me more now than ever. In a time where easy is the norm, courting someone seems overwhelming, but that is because you are still figuring things out. As you rightfully should. You’re in your selfish years. But soon, the opposite sex will start to appeal to you. So know how you want to be going about that. I don’t have time for ignorance so I googled the word and found the following definition:

Behavior designed to persuade someone to marry or develop a romantic relationship with one.

As opposed to dating, courtship is not easy! Everything you do while courting is designed (can we just appreciate this word in this context, please?) to fulfill a purpose. We aren’t just snapchatting or texting or talking, we are consciously working towards a purpose. And that purpose is to become real, loving, supportive spouses. Without crossing the lines that God has set for us. “But how can I know for sure he’s going to be the one I marry? I have to date him first to know that!” Lies, girl. Lies. Because dating is the easy way out. Choose the hard route for once. It will shape you so much more.

God Bless,
Shaina Amoateng



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