“The elements to success come from self.” So as a Purpose Wife, know that there are some things you need to be capable of yourself before you are able to effectively do them for others. In my previous article I gave you two elements to a successful marriage: love and prayer. I was aiming for you to think about these. Have you started applying them? Girl, you better!
If you can automatically love others selflessly and pray for them in any situation, you are two steps closer to becoming one amazing, strong Purpose Wife. What better way to help you grow than to give you a few more elements for a succesful marriage? This time I will discuss forgiveness, respect and ambition.
Forgiveness | “Be kind and tender to one another. Forgive each other, just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done.” (Ephesians 4:32, NIRV) I remember watching clip of a couple that had been married for 80 years. Let that sink in … Eighty! Eight – Zero! The wife had a very particular answer when she was asked how she was able to stay with one man for so long. She said she was an expert at forgiving. In eighty years, you can imagine how many fights they must have had. From the time they were courting, to when they became newlyweds, till eighty years later! I’m sure they had amazing times, but I also can’t imagine the number of fights eighty years can accumulate. However, being aware of this now can help you prepare yourself to forgive. To me, forgiving isn’t ignoring what went wrong. Forgiving is understanding what went wrong and then discussing it so that you can prevent it in the future, and freely continue being in a relationship that isn’t restricted by the past. Easier said than done, true. But what do you have to lose? Why would you not want to focus on your spouse without recalling the past.
Respect | “But you forgive. So people have respect for you.” (Psalm 130:4, NIRV) There must be a few things you’ve done in your life, and each time you are reminded about them, you immediately feel bad about yourself. I’m sure one or two things came up as you read that last sentence. I’m tying in the forgiveness ladies! If you do not forgive yourself, for being unaware, for being green, for being new to this thing called life.. How then will you be able to forgive your spouse? People always say that your youth is for making mistakes and learning from them, but I say learning is forever. So even as you are of age and you become someone’s wife, know that the two of you will still need to learn a lot about one another and yourselves in your marriage. Respect that. Respect him whilst he finds his way of justly loving you. If you always set yourself up as The one who forgives and respects, The One who gives will give people nothing but full respect for you. This then translates to commitment as well. But like I said in part one; first do for yourself and then you can do for others.
Ambition | A wife cares. A wife loves and a wife this and a wife that.. Being a wife is a full time job but don’t forget who you were before you become a wife. You have goals and dreams that are fuelled by your ambition. From the time you started studying and absorbing the things that interested you most, you were developing an evolved version of yourself. You were actively working on “her” and your spouse saw this. The moment he made up his mind to propose to you, his decision was formed by all the things you were then and all the things you had the potential to be. He accepted this. Perhaps it even inspired him to do and be more too. So, allow being a wife to be an addition to that better version of you, not a replacement. Allow your husband to know the potential you hold. Don’t rub it in his face, though! We just covered respect, remember?
Know that you are wonderfully and fearfully made to be all you can and need to be. Have faith in yourself. In your doing. In your decision making. You have nothing to fear, God is on your team! Sharing this with you is such a privilege and I’m so thankful for the help I got putting this together. D., God bless you! I haven’t been married before but I’m sure most of us at least envision a good, fulfilling marriage. Allow these steps to work on you now, so you can feel secure as soon as you utter those beautiful words: “I do”.