Mom: “Shai, this is the type of wedding dress you should wear on your day!”
Me: “Ooeh, I love that! But I want a longer train, so that even when I leave the room, I’m still in the room!”
My mom and I always yell with excitement when we watch ‘Say Yes To The Dress’. It started when she got married about six years ago. We would religiously watch the show to get an idea of different types of dresses. I was her maid of honour so I got to join during dress shopping. It all felt so exciting! My mom picked a gorgeous dress and the day itself couldn’t have been more blessed. I can’t help but daydream about my turn and neither can my mom. I plan on having a grand affair with flowers galore, and of course a stunning dress! (Duh). Everyone will be there to witness and celebrate our coming together. That day will symbolize the start of something beautiful. That day I will promise The Giver, that I will love and care for the gift in human form that He has given me. That day.. That one day will be a day filled with love, good wishes and that stunning dress!
But, yes, there is always a but, why don’t my daydreams ever cover what happens after that day? After I take off that stunning dress.. After the flowers die.. After everyone is gone.. I spoke to Him about this. As I do with everything I’m not sure of. And since I want you to read something meaningful, I’m happy to share His wisdom with you.
A wedding day is just the start. A public start. After that day, it will be just you and your husband. Literally. The reason why we can’t fully imagine how it will be, is because marriage is something we haven’t done before. Granted, we’ve heard and seen of it, but most of us have never even said those famous words all the while wearing our stunning dress. Let alone coming together with a man for the rest of our natural lives. And even if we have, there were certain missing elements to the coming together. When I spoke about this with God, He made it clear that taking care of ourselves is a must, that that’s what our youth is for. When we’ve matured, caring for ourselves becomes automatism. “What’s so good about automatism?”, I asked. Well, knowing how to do things on autopilot leaves room to learn new things. Marriage offers a range of new things to learn, this goes for Purpose Husbands too.The elements to success come from self. So as a Purpose Wife, know that there are some things you need to be capable of yourself before you are able to effectively do them for others. Below are my favourite two elements. They may seem simple, but they have so much dept.
- Love | Philippians 2:3 (NIV) “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” This does not mean that you yourself don’t matter. This means that you are going to make your husband your priority, after God, and vice versa. That way, you are both taken care of through self, but also though The One you came together with. There will be a constant exchange of love in your marriage if you make sure to keep selfishness and conceit out of the marriage
- Prayer | James 5:16 (NIRV) “So admit to one another that you have sinned. Pray for one another so that you might be healed. The prayer of a godly person is powerful. It makes thing happen.” Need I say more? I love how full and filling this version of this Bible verse is. Coming together means sticking together. There will be a lot of ugly days after that one beautiful day but that doesn’t mean you can quit. It means you should pray. Opening up to God and/or your husband isn’t always easy. But please understand and remember that God has all the power to carry you through. You have made your spouse your priority through marriage, so when they aren’t okay, neither are you. Pray for him or her, who else is going to?
The talks I have with God are so enlightening. I encourage you to do the same, now, in your youth, while you still can. When you do this, you’ll be fully ready when that day comes, not just outfit-wise.